Okay, now while I'm an avid fan of the Indiana Jones series. This movie made my jaw drop, my eyes bug out, and my throat to spew out, "What the fuck is this...?" many times during the movie. I mean, I get that the series is all about some kinda supernatural event happening at some point. But they're mostly religious events. Like in the Temple of Doom, he had to save a village who's children had been kidnapped and put to work in a voodoo sweat shop where people were being sacrificed to the devil or something. In the Raiders of the Lost Arc he found the Arc of the Covenant. In the Last Crusade, he found the Holy Grail. So whatever it was about this day and age that made them decide aliens and Russians were the way to go this time, is beyoooooooond me. But this wasn't a terrible movie, don't get me wrong. I mean the cast kicked ass. Harrison Ford's 60-something years old ass came through and owned those Comrades. For a senior citizen, the dude packs one hell of a whallop. And Shia LeBouf came on screen and surprised the fuck outta me, his performance as Indiana's kid wasn't bad at all. I didn't think he'd keep up with action-film juggernaut, Harrison Ford, so well. But then we get to Cate Blanchett's performance... Smh. I don't know what somebody was snorting, smoking, huffing, or mainlining when they decided she'd make a good Russian. I mean, going from Queen Elizabeth to Russian boss-lady? Thank you Hollywood for once again reassuring me that you're a bunch of jerk offs, for the most part. By the way, the Russians wanted the crystal skull so they could become psychics and rule the world. And neither last nor least, we address the aliens. So apparently, some Conquistadors sailed to Peru from Spain and discovered aliens who had indeed created "El Dorado" aka the "City of Gold." But as if that wasn't enough, the aliens' skeletons were made of some kind of magnetized crystal... And once the missing crystal skull was returned to a temple in the amazon, this big ass UFO came out and teleported the temple to another dimension!! But only after making Ms. Blanchett spontaneously combust... Are you freakin' serious..? First of all, the movie was set in 1957! What woman was in charge of an army?! [Not being sexist, just saying.] Second, why was the an interdimensional portal in a Amazon temple?! I just don't know what to say... Buuuuut, the effects were good, the action was good, and the cast was great..For the most part. So would I suggest this movie? Well do you pay attention to detail or do you just like seeing old guys punch younger guys and aliens burning Russian women alive? If you're the former of the two, no. If you're the latter of the two....You might wanna watch "Hellboy 2" first that way ANY movie you watch seems like an Oscar winner.
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
Okay, now while I'm an avid fan of the Indiana Jones series. This movie made my jaw drop, my eyes bug out, and my throat to spew out, "What the fuck is this...?" many times during the movie. I mean, I get that the series is all about some kinda supernatural event happening at some point. But they're mostly religious events. Like in the Temple of Doom, he had to save a village who's children had been kidnapped and put to work in a voodoo sweat shop where people were being sacrificed to the devil or something. In the Raiders of the Lost Arc he found the Arc of the Covenant. In the Last Crusade, he found the Holy Grail. So whatever it was about this day and age that made them decide aliens and Russians were the way to go this time, is beyoooooooond me. But this wasn't a terrible movie, don't get me wrong. I mean the cast kicked ass. Harrison Ford's 60-something years old ass came through and owned those Comrades. For a senior citizen, the dude packs one hell of a whallop. And Shia LeBouf came on screen and surprised the fuck outta me, his performance as Indiana's kid wasn't bad at all. I didn't think he'd keep up with action-film juggernaut, Harrison Ford, so well. But then we get to Cate Blanchett's performance... Smh. I don't know what somebody was snorting, smoking, huffing, or mainlining when they decided she'd make a good Russian. I mean, going from Queen Elizabeth to Russian boss-lady? Thank you Hollywood for once again reassuring me that you're a bunch of jerk offs, for the most part. By the way, the Russians wanted the crystal skull so they could become psychics and rule the world. And neither last nor least, we address the aliens. So apparently, some Conquistadors sailed to Peru from Spain and discovered aliens who had indeed created "El Dorado" aka the "City of Gold." But as if that wasn't enough, the aliens' skeletons were made of some kind of magnetized crystal... And once the missing crystal skull was returned to a temple in the amazon, this big ass UFO came out and teleported the temple to another dimension!! But only after making Ms. Blanchett spontaneously combust... Are you freakin' serious..? First of all, the movie was set in 1957! What woman was in charge of an army?! [Not being sexist, just saying.] Second, why was the an interdimensional portal in a Amazon temple?! I just don't know what to say... Buuuuut, the effects were good, the action was good, and the cast was great..For the most part. So would I suggest this movie? Well do you pay attention to detail or do you just like seeing old guys punch younger guys and aliens burning Russian women alive? If you're the former of the two, no. If you're the latter of the two....You might wanna watch "Hellboy 2" first that way ANY movie you watch seems like an Oscar winner.
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